Jesus Hold You

It's a prayer.  A 3-word prayer.  "Jesus hold you." And I prayed it a lot this summer.  Yes, I know, something isn't right about the grammar.

If you've read my earlier blog posts, you may remember one about William's favorite phrases.  A common one became "Amma hold you!" (Or substitute "Mommy" or "Daddy"). At first it was literal and meant "I want you to hold me."  But later, it was just an expression of need.  Something is wrong! I don't like this! I need comfort! Or even, I don't know what I need or want or how to ask for it! Help! He would even say it while he was being held.

Often during this summer I felt like William when it came to prayer.  I just didn’t have the right words or even know exactly what I was asking. 

I thought about one of my favorite verses:

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans." Romans 8:26

And if there was ever I time I felt weak and didn’t know what I ought to pray – this was it.  And God – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit – is like a loving parent, a mother and a father, that comforts his children.

“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.”

Isaiah 66:13 NIV

“The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.”

Romans 8:15-16 NIV

"See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" I John 3:1a

So, knowing these promises, I just said “Jesus hold you. Jesus hold you. Jesus hold you.”  And my prayer was honored.

Now that I am back in a place where I can pray more carefully worded, thought-out prayers, I don’t know that there will ever be a more sincere one that the 3-word one.  Or maybe I’ll get really wordy:

Father hold you. Jesus hold you.  Spirit hold you. Amen.

“He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.”

Psalm 18:16 NIV

NICU days by the numbers

Somehow I feel the need to quantify the experience we had from May 1 to August 6.

98 - The total number of days Laura and Isaac were patients at Norfolk General and CHKD (Children's Hospital of the King's Daughters).

77 - The number of days between Isaac's birth and his discharge (or the number of days in the NICU.)

308 - Number of drives through tunnels to and from Norfolk.  That's two tunnels each way: the Monitor Merrimack Bridge Tunnel (which William enjoyed saying) and the Midtown Tunnel (toll tunnel).

500 (approx) - Number of times Laura pumped milk before actually breastfeeding Isaac.

1500oz - Amount of milk Laura donated to the milk bank just before leaving the hospital.  Yes, that's right.  And that was less than half of what they had stored in the freezer.  Milk pumped while she was on antibiotics could not be donated :(.  But think how many little bitty preemies will be helped! She is a rock star at the milk bank.

2 - The number of (white) women without visible tattoos in and around the hospital.  And they were Laura and me.  Haha....ok maybe that's an exaggeration.  But they were VERY prevalent.

.19 miles - the distance Laura had to walk from her courtesy room in Norfolk General to the bedside in the NICU to feed Isaac.  The final week or two this included feedings at 11pm and 2am.  The walk was indoors but included an elevator ride and requests to pass through security and to enter the NICU.  When Isaac moved to the stepdown unit, there was a second elevator ride and additional walk.

25,000 - The number of germs per square inch on your cell phone (according to a new sign in the NICU which asked you to keep your phone in a ziplock bag).

4 - number of birthdays celebrated while at the hospital.  Laura (May 8), Michael (July 31), William (July 24), and of course, Isaac (May 22). My birthday (August 9) occurred on my last day in Virginia, but Isaac was home!

2 - The number of Sundays I attended worship during this time.  Both were in July and at First Pres Norfolk, near the hospital.

20-30 - The number of containers of hummus purchased and eaten, paired with yellow/orange peppers and/or pita chips (Harris Teeter brand is the best!)

10-15 - The number of boxes of Frosted Mini Wheats purchased and eaten (mostly by Laura and Michael). As the summer progressed, William also began requesting "Daddy's cereal"

90-100 - The range you wanted Isaac to stay in for oxygen saturation.  Lower numbers resulted in beeping or even a "de-sat" :(

100-200 - The range you wanted Isaac's heartrate to stay in.  Lower numbers resulted in beeping or even a brady :(

0 - The number of movies, sporting events, or cookouts attended. Beach/lake trips or summer vacation of any kind taken.  Visits to you-pick farm or farmers' market. Non-essential shopping trips. Graduations/weddings/showers or other family celebrations attended. 

6 - Other babies in pod E with Isaac.

70- Total capacity of CHKD NICU.

1140 grams - Isaac's weight at birth (2lbs 8oz).

2500 grams - Isaac's weight at discharge (5 lbs 8oz)

125 - The number of days/nights I have spent in Virginia in 2015.

123 - The number of nights Laura had spent in her new Virginia home in 2015 as of August 9 when I left.  (Yes...I spent more time in her home than she did...)

8 - Number of days before Laura was able to kiss Isaac.

12 days - Isaac's age when he received his first tiny tube feeding of mother's milk.

20 days - Isaac's age when Laura first held him.

30 days- Isaac's age when William first met him.

35 days - Number of days Isaac spent on the jet ventilator.  Laura can now hold Isaac every day.

36 days - Isaac's age when Michael first held Isaac.

38 days - Isaac's age when he extubated himself. And his first audible cry.

22 weeks - earliest gestational arrival of a baby in our pod: Jayson.  He went home after 6 months.

154 - Number of nursing shifts during our stay (77x2)

75ish - Number of different nurses that cared for Isaac.  This was very disconcerting.  We would have loved more continuity.

60 days - Isaac's age at first breastfeed.

64 days - Isaac's age on William's 2nd birthday when he could begin visiting every day.

1 - The number of nights spent at the Ronald McDonald house.  MUCH better accommodations than the hospital courtesy room.  But they lived 5 miles too close to qualify for an extended stay there.

12 - Approximate number of meals provided by new Yorktown friends (mostly from church). Note to self:  Enchilada casserole is very popular. Remember to bring something else!

Countless: expressions of love, caring, and support in the form of calls, texts, emails, notes, packages and gifts, caring bridge comments, meals, visits, and prayer. Thank you to friends, family, church family, and even strangers.