The brown car

Ok. Not sure it was really brown, but it was one of those nondescript colors sedans come in. (William had to call it something.) And it was parked in Laura and Michael's yard just beside the driveway for several months. This was a favor to a family at their church who needed a place to park it while he was deployed and she went to Minnesota to be with family. 

So it has been kind of a landmark in the yard. William always likes to look at the tires of any car parked outside. And there was a patch of clover (many 4-leafed!) behind the card. And most exciting of all, the 'white light' was just beyond it. (Somehow the lamppost mysteriously received this name)

The car became a part of the landscape. So when Don was visiting and asked the last time the car had been started, Michael and I said 'Well....'  Yes, of course, the battery was dead. There was nothing to be done at that point. 

Fast forward to Tuesday of this week. I was tired. This was day three with no nap. (If that sounds weird: trust me, this is a mandatory nap situation). I was home with William and had just put him down for his nap and was expecting Laura within an hour or so for a visit at home. I headed for the couch, anticipating a little quiet time alone. Then Laura called. The car's owner, Phil, had arrived at the Newport News airport and was coming to pick up the car. What? That's awfully short notice! Grrrr ..there goes my nap...

Soon there was a knock at the door. I grabbed the keys and slipped onto the porch thinking we could quietly go out and get his car ready to go. I didn't want to risk waking William with talking. I'm embarrassed to say I probably wasn't even very welcoming or friendly. He took his keys and unlocked his car then transported his heavy-looking army duffles from the curb where the cab had dropped him to his car's back seat. 

I took the van key and went in the garage to start the van. And ....nothing.  Its battery was also dead. Ok then. Finally some sense of hospitality kicked in and I invited him into the house for a glass of water. It was a hot, humid afternoon. There was nothing to do now but wait for Laura to arrive in Michael's RAV4. 

We sat in the den and I found a bowl of watermelon in the refrigerator to offer him. He made a quick call to arrange himself a room for the night somewhere on base.  We talked about where he had been (Kuwait) and about his family. He has two children: one near WIlliam's age and a 7-week-old he has never met.  I told him I have been away from my family and it has made me really appreciate those in the military and their sacrifice apart from their families. We agreed on how great Skype and FaceTime are.

In about 20 minutes Laura arrived, greeted Phil, and pretty quickly got him on his way. But before he left, he helped me roll the van out of the garage. I left the task of jumping off and battery replacement for a little later. Laura and I got a little rest in before William woke. 

There are many days I spend time feeling sorry for myself. Mostly for things that are just uncomfortable or inconvenient. Then I realize I'm not the only one in a difficult situation. In fact, there are certainly some much worse. Likely many here in this hospital and particularly in the NICU. 

So days when I feel like complaining, or more likely, actually DO complain, maybe I'll think of the brown car and what it represents. 

The light at the end of the tunnel

In the past I would have thought this a perfectly fine metaphor....even up until very recently.  But now, it has worn out its welcome for me. 

You would think this would be perfect for our current situation here with Isaac: a prolonged dark, difficult period that will eventually end. But it's not that simple. 

For example, driving to and from Norfolk there are two tunnels you must pass through. So, seeing 'the light at the end of the tunnel' is just temporary. After the Monitor-Merrimack Memorial Bridge Tunnel (which by the way has an ENTIRELY too long name), there is yet another tunnel to pass through- the Midtown tunnel which ends very near the hospital.  And of course, on the return trip the same is true - in reverse order. 

This has been a multi-tunnel experience and will continue to be. And sometimes even exiting a tunnel doesn't bring sunshine. There are dark and rainy days. 

Maybe one day I'll be able to look back at this as one long tunnel that I no longer travel through, but for now I have to be content with sections of sunshine along the way. 

“You, Lord, are my lamp; the Lord turns my darkness into light.”

2 Samuel 22:29 NIV

William dictionary

Anyone who has spent time with a toddler knows they have their own language and it sometimes needs a little translation. So here's a little peek into WIlliam's linguistic world. 

"Amma hold you" - a few months ago, this literally meant 'pick me up'. It now means, I feel insecure! Comfort me!  I don't like what is happening! Synonyms are "mommy hold you" and "daddy hold you". 

"Make ding ding" - William decided a few weeks ago he enjoying making sounds by banging a wooden spoon on things. There is a little metal plant stand out in the screened porch that is especially nice. 

"Baba" - William's comfort blankie is a set of Laura's pajamas. They are required for naps and bedtime and other snuggly moments. The primary 'baba' is the bottom, as he prefers the elastic. ' Second baba' (pajama top) is an acceptable substitute. 

"Cow bunnies" - This all started because William really enjoys a type of cracker called "bunny crackers". I ended up buying another brand of similar organic crackers that are shaped like cows and the earth (I have no idea why). We told him the cow crackers are like bunny crackers....thus, 'cow bunnies!'

"Sis! Sis!" -  used when pointing at a thing or picture and means "what is this??!"

"Place-to-park" - any parking deck, particularly the visitor parking at the hospital. 

"No that one!" - he does not want to hear that song (sung by me or played on YouTube)

"Ca-woo" - carry you.  As in "Amma ca-woo downstairs"

"Wittle man" - Lego people. 

"Have it!"  - I want that! Give it to me! (Often followed by, "William, how do you ask?)

"Hmmmmm".....- William's response when he doesn't know the answer to your question. 

"Juicy gig" - nonsense word that makes William laugh. It all started when I was cutting a watermelon and he tasted it and we said it was juicy. Can't remember how it evolved to this this. :)

"Night night to Amma"- I'm sure you can guess... Someone says 'say night night to Amma" and that's what he does. 

"Uh-oh garbage!" Or "uh-oh cabinet!" - the lid to the garbage can is open or the cabinet door is open. Close it!

"Mac-n-n-cheese" - he insists on the extra middle syllable :)

Forty days

I just realized this morning that yesterday was day 40 for Isaac in the NICU. This isolette with its quilted cover has been all he's known. 

40 days is, of course, a common theme in the Bible. It generally is a time of testing or trial. Yes...that it has been!  Isaac has been subject to a lot of intervention, discomfort and pain during this time-- as have his parents (and me). We have known fear, and sadness, and exhaustion. It's been a long 40 days. 

Today they rolled out that isolette and brought in this bassinet! The kind a 'normal' newborn would be placed in at birth. Now we can go in and look right at his sweet face and touch his little peach fuzz head. And we can pick him up (carefully!) and hold him!  

This morning Laura spent some time holding him and when she put him back down, changed his diaper,etc, he got very awake. He seemed to want to take in the new scenery that was above his bed now. He was awake and alert for so long, Laura couldn't drag herself from his bedside. She only did because she needed to be home soon so that Michael could go in to work (plus have her time with William.)

This may not be the end to our NICU experience, but we are grateful that those 40 days of trial are past! Thank you God!